Grandma Jo's blog




I am surrogate grandmother to ALL children of tumblr, set on leading each and every one of you down the path of righteousness, with a little help from your Grandma Jo!!! Just another God-fearing woman serving His purpose here on earth!!!

I simply spend my life alone with my dog Dog, sipping on my gin and diet coke— Grandma Jo’s gotta watch her girlish figure— and thinking of a time when I was the most sought after debutante in all of the thirteen colonies.

In my spare time-- which is all the time-- I enjoy sitting, eating snickers, warding off young men from my grand babies, crawling around the house, yelling at people while threatening them with my cane, churchgoing, telling Elizabeth how to not waste bread, watching birds, taking my diabetes medication, giving advice and tumblin.

Nestle on up to Grandma Jo, children.

What's your tumblr type? →

springtimeofhisvoodoo:

scrillex:

niallrivers is a homo that was born from the fires of hell

scrillex is a homo so big they eclipsed the sun

springtimeofhisvoodoo is a homo so big they drifted into the earth’s atmosphere and replaced the moon

fdjasduifaushdfuhadghuiasdguidghuiashd

omg sobbing @ how accurate

grandmajo is a homo that was born from the fires of hell

EXCUSE ME!!! WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT AND DEVILRY!!! I AM A GOD WARRIOR!!! I AM A WOMAN WHO HAS BATHED AND SUCKLED ON THE BLOOD OF CHRIST AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR THESE SLANDEROUS AND DEGRADING REMARKS TO MY RELIGION AND MY GOD!!!!!!! I AM OF GOD!!! I AM ON THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND I HAVE ASCENDED THE HEAVENS AND MET WITH THE MAN UPSTAIRS FOR THE OCCASIONAL GIN AND DIET COKE, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW!!!! GET OUT!!!! GARGOYLES!!! PSYCHICS!!! WHILE I HAVE DABBLED IN THE LADY PARTS, I AM NOT OF THE HOMOSEXUAL PERSUASION!!! I HAVE BORE MANY CHILDREN OUT OF MY WOMB AND GOTTEN PREGNANT WITH SEED!!!!

xoxo

Grandma Jo

Tagged: god warriorchristcrucifixionholy water

Source: wugs

discotoast asked: Grandma Jo, I can't stop thinking about having sex, and I'm always masturbating. Help me, Grandma, for I have sinned.

Sew your vagina up SHUT and bathe in the blood of Christ.

xoxo

Grandma Jo

takemehome-tonight:

grandmajo: this bitch be crazy

Is there some sort of problem here? Are you of Satan, as I fear?
xoxo
Grandma Jo

takemehome-tonight:

grandmajo: this bitch be crazy

Is there some sort of problem here? Are you of Satan, as I fear?

xoxo

Grandma Jo

Source: grandmajo

Amen, let’s drink to that!!!
(Nothing beats a Bloody Mary made with the blood of Christ).
xoxo
Grandma Jo

Amen, let’s drink to that!!!

(Nothing beats a Bloody Mary made with the blood of Christ).

xoxo

Grandma Jo

Tagged: christjesusholyblood pf jesussinredemptiongrand babyretribution

Anonymous asked: grandma jo, how are you?

I’m doing well. And yourself? I just broke my hip, so it’s on the mend.

xoxo

Grandma Jo

Tagged: Anonymous

the-mistresses-of-oldhollywood asked: ~ _ ~ grandmother :D

grandbaby!!!

xoxo 

Grandma Jo

Tagged: the-mistresses-of-oldhollywood

prof-plum asked: but i don't want a baby can i plant tomatoes instead or something

no

xoxo

Grandma Jo

Tagged: prof-plum

So many sins to pray for, so little time.

xoxo

Grandma Jo

Tagged: sinssingrand babieschristcrucifixionholy waterholythe devilholy wafersbody and bloodchristchrist warriorgodjesus christchristianbible

Some recent photos of yours truly, taken by the lovely Darian Lee, who is my devil granddaughter’s evil lover who has urged her to stray from the path of righteousness, and waste many a slice of bread!!! This was taken on a recent vacation to Florida I took to celebrate Christ’s birthday with my daughter Leeanne… Against my better wishes, she allowed the girls to partake in the seed of the DEVIL, and they drank many cups of LIQUOR, which is of SATAN!!! I pray for my wayward kin to find their way back to my heavenly teachings, which correlate to His. I do look like a girl again in these pictures, don’t I? I did break my hip recently, so I’ve been confined to a walker, but God promises He will return my ability to Walk in his Path. I was busy reading the Scripture while my family succumbed to sin, idolatry, and False Prophets!!!

Happy New Year!!!

xoxo

Grandma Jo

Tagged: darianleelizentomegrand babiesthe devilscripturegodchristianitythe good bookjesus christjesusour father who art in heavenchurchchristmasholy watergrand babies